Part Three: My
Story
I have revised this last section a bit in order to not step on any toes. Offending anyone has not been my intention for telling the story of how Christ saved me.
...Meanwhile, after both of our conversions, Ryan and I
had begun to really dig deeper into finding out who God was.
I found out that a few of those very close to me had some hard feelings toward
Christianity for whatever reason, and they seemed to be quite against the idea of
creation and giving one’s life over to a “god” who wanted to rule or
orchestrate every action in our lives.
But the more Ryan and I learned about God, the more we wanted to talk about Him. We would talk to those near to us about the characteristics of God, which are discovered by reading the Bible. They didn’t agree with anything we were discussing and I began to feel a distance between myself and those loved ones that I had never felt before.
I began to feel afraid to talk about this relationship I was forming with God. I was afraid of opposition, which I got a lot of at the time. I knew that Christ saving me was the biggest moment of my entire life, and I felt like I should be filled with so much happiness. And I was – I had found a joy in Christ that I had never experienced before.
But at the same time, I felt more opposition and negativity coming at me from my loved ones than I had ever felt in my entire life.
I didn’t understand. I knew I was supposed to be happy. I knew that I was supposed to be joyful and let the light of Christ shine through me. But I think it was then that I started to shut out some of those I loved the most in my life because I couldn’t deal with their negativity in a time where my life was changing so radically.
I needed to feel the same love of others that I was trying so hard to give, and I wanted to get away from all the negativity. Thankfully, I was able to connect with my close friends (my bridesmaids) and Ryan and I had already begun attending worship services at NorthRidge Church and had met some amazing, Godly people. We (Ryan and I) had started a bible study with the Drahotas and the Ackermans, both couples who I just love, and I loved that in that time of need I was able to surround myself with these lifetime friends who share the same love of God that I had.
I waited about a month or so before getting baptized, however, because I feared the disapproval of my loved ones. I was so concerned with what they thought that I was avoiding such a strong conviction I had in my heart to become baptized in the name of Jesus. I eventually decided that I could not let fear of disapproval stand in the way of my relationship with Christ, so I got baptized.
However, I just didn’t tell my family.
But the more Ryan and I learned about God, the more we wanted to talk about Him. We would talk to those near to us about the characteristics of God, which are discovered by reading the Bible. They didn’t agree with anything we were discussing and I began to feel a distance between myself and those loved ones that I had never felt before.
I began to feel afraid to talk about this relationship I was forming with God. I was afraid of opposition, which I got a lot of at the time. I knew that Christ saving me was the biggest moment of my entire life, and I felt like I should be filled with so much happiness. And I was – I had found a joy in Christ that I had never experienced before.
But at the same time, I felt more opposition and negativity coming at me from my loved ones than I had ever felt in my entire life.
I didn’t understand. I knew I was supposed to be happy. I knew that I was supposed to be joyful and let the light of Christ shine through me. But I think it was then that I started to shut out some of those I loved the most in my life because I couldn’t deal with their negativity in a time where my life was changing so radically.
I needed to feel the same love of others that I was trying so hard to give, and I wanted to get away from all the negativity. Thankfully, I was able to connect with my close friends (my bridesmaids) and Ryan and I had already begun attending worship services at NorthRidge Church and had met some amazing, Godly people. We (Ryan and I) had started a bible study with the Drahotas and the Ackermans, both couples who I just love, and I loved that in that time of need I was able to surround myself with these lifetime friends who share the same love of God that I had.
I waited about a month or so before getting baptized, however, because I feared the disapproval of my loved ones. I was so concerned with what they thought that I was avoiding such a strong conviction I had in my heart to become baptized in the name of Jesus. I eventually decided that I could not let fear of disapproval stand in the way of my relationship with Christ, so I got baptized.
However, I just didn’t tell my family.
I remember the day of my baptism so clearly. I was shaking with nerves the entire service because I was so nervous to get up in front of all of these strangers that I didn't know at the time. But, when the time finally came for Jason to baptize me, I felt a lot more at peace. Afterward, I remember seeing my aunt and uncle on my dad's side of the family. My aunt came over and embraced me in a hug, and we both started crying. She was so happy for me but when she asked if my family knew, I started bawling, because I had not had the nerve to tell them that I was taking that step in my faith.
I thought that was the best thing to do at the time because it let me escape the initial opposition I knew I would receive. However, looking back, I regret my decision because there were a lot of other loved ones who were hurt when they found out I had gotten baptized without them knowing. I think that my grandmothers both wish I had told them, and my mom was upset that I had kept such a huge transition in my life from her.
But... regardless of that decision I made to not tell any of my family, my life really did change radically from the time Christ saved me.
It didn’t take long before Ryan and I both felt a strong conviction for spreading the gospel to the nations. We could clearly see that God was speaking to us, through the pages of His Word (the bible), about taking the gospel to the nations.
The Great Commission was something that we knew we couldn’t avoid.
We jumped at the first opportunity we had to go on a short -term mission trip in August, which happened to be in Port-au-Prince, Haiti.
Meanwhile, two days after my high school graduation in May 2011, Ryan and I got engaged and set a date for August 13 of that summer. :)
We spent just a little bit of time in Haiti where God seriously opened our eyes to the multitudes of people who need Christ. I didn’t want to leave! I wanted to just stay in Haiti and see what God could do there through me. The wonderful Glace family, who traveled there with us, even offered to perform a wedding ceremony there so that we didn’t have to come back to the States to get married! ;)
It was definitely an eye-opening experience that led us to the absolute knowing that God called us, little Ryan and Cheyenne, to do great things through Him, cross-culturally.
Although we didn’t care where He sent us, an opportunity to go back to Haiti came about rather quickly. We spent the next two and a half happy years of our marriage getting through college and preparing to go to Haiti.
And here we are now. Ryan and me… two unworthy people who didn’t even realize who God was or that He even truly existed three and a half years ago.
In three years, God has become our Number One. He is at the center of our lives, at the center of our marriage, at the center of our decisions. He is there in the joyous times, and in the hard times yet to come. He will be there in the transition to life in Haiti, and in the relationships we form there. He is present at all times. He is the reason we live.
And He has given us eternal life and knowledge of Him, not so that we can be selfish and keep Him all to ourselves – but so that we can lead others to Him so that they, too, can spend eternity in Heaven, being in absolute worship and awe of our amazing Creator.
This morning's church service really swept me off of my feet. Kelsi Walton's worship team sang some songs that really moved me today and if you haven't heard it already, right now you should go listen to the song "Worth It All" by Meredith Andrews.
The chorus sings:
I let go of all I have just to have all of You
And no matter what the cost I will follow You
Jesus everything I've lost I have found in You
When I finally reach the end I'll say
You are worth it all
I just felt so connected to God this morning, and between the worship music and the message on how our beliefs shape our actions, I realized just how clearly I am understanding that this path Ryan and I are on is definitely heading in the right direction.
I will continue to face opposition, and as weak as I am by myself, Jesus strengthens me and I will push through it all. Jesus, He is worth it all. He isn't worthy of getting only part of my life. Jesus Christ, the son of God, our savior who bore our sins in His body while dying on the cross, that Jesus... He is worth it all. And weak as I am, I am not going to be a coward and let opposition get in the way of taking action upon my beliefs. Otherwise, what good is my word if my works do not show my faith?
I thought that was the best thing to do at the time because it let me escape the initial opposition I knew I would receive. However, looking back, I regret my decision because there were a lot of other loved ones who were hurt when they found out I had gotten baptized without them knowing. I think that my grandmothers both wish I had told them, and my mom was upset that I had kept such a huge transition in my life from her.
But... regardless of that decision I made to not tell any of my family, my life really did change radically from the time Christ saved me.
It didn’t take long before Ryan and I both felt a strong conviction for spreading the gospel to the nations. We could clearly see that God was speaking to us, through the pages of His Word (the bible), about taking the gospel to the nations.
The Great Commission was something that we knew we couldn’t avoid.
We jumped at the first opportunity we had to go on a short -term mission trip in August, which happened to be in Port-au-Prince, Haiti.
Meanwhile, two days after my high school graduation in May 2011, Ryan and I got engaged and set a date for August 13 of that summer. :)
We spent just a little bit of time in Haiti where God seriously opened our eyes to the multitudes of people who need Christ. I didn’t want to leave! I wanted to just stay in Haiti and see what God could do there through me. The wonderful Glace family, who traveled there with us, even offered to perform a wedding ceremony there so that we didn’t have to come back to the States to get married! ;)
It was definitely an eye-opening experience that led us to the absolute knowing that God called us, little Ryan and Cheyenne, to do great things through Him, cross-culturally.
Although we didn’t care where He sent us, an opportunity to go back to Haiti came about rather quickly. We spent the next two and a half happy years of our marriage getting through college and preparing to go to Haiti.
And here we are now. Ryan and me… two unworthy people who didn’t even realize who God was or that He even truly existed three and a half years ago.
In three years, God has become our Number One. He is at the center of our lives, at the center of our marriage, at the center of our decisions. He is there in the joyous times, and in the hard times yet to come. He will be there in the transition to life in Haiti, and in the relationships we form there. He is present at all times. He is the reason we live.
And He has given us eternal life and knowledge of Him, not so that we can be selfish and keep Him all to ourselves – but so that we can lead others to Him so that they, too, can spend eternity in Heaven, being in absolute worship and awe of our amazing Creator.
This morning's church service really swept me off of my feet. Kelsi Walton's worship team sang some songs that really moved me today and if you haven't heard it already, right now you should go listen to the song "Worth It All" by Meredith Andrews.
The chorus sings:
I let go of all I have just to have all of You
And no matter what the cost I will follow You
Jesus everything I've lost I have found in You
When I finally reach the end I'll say
You are worth it all
I just felt so connected to God this morning, and between the worship music and the message on how our beliefs shape our actions, I realized just how clearly I am understanding that this path Ryan and I are on is definitely heading in the right direction.
I will continue to face opposition, and as weak as I am by myself, Jesus strengthens me and I will push through it all. Jesus, He is worth it all. He isn't worthy of getting only part of my life. Jesus Christ, the son of God, our savior who bore our sins in His body while dying on the cross, that Jesus... He is worth it all. And weak as I am, I am not going to be a coward and let opposition get in the way of taking action upon my beliefs. Otherwise, what good is my word if my works do not show my faith?
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