Where is Home?

Today was a real blessing! It has been a GORGEOUS day full of relaxation and time well spent with my husband.  We talked a lot about life and what our future may (or may not) have in store for us.

At one point I was speaking about how excited I am just to get back home from Canada. Without missing a beat, Ryan said, “Where is home?”

It took a few seconds for that question to sink in.

Where is home, really? My first thought of home is DuBois, NE – where I spent nearly every day of the first 18 years of my life. But now that I am married and have started a new life with Ryan, I don’t really know where “our” home together is. In the past two years, we have moved between apartments and houses 6 times already!

Ryan was kind of surprised today when he looked at just how much he will be moving around within the next 6 months. We are leaving Canada in about a week and will jump from house to house for about two weeks before we move into our own place for the semester. Then within a few weeks of being back home Ryan may be making a trip to Haiti, and a few weeks after that he will be going to Kentucky for his on-campus classes. Then in January we make a trip out to Indiana for cross training with OMS and then, God-willing, we will be on our way to Haiti! Its kind of nuts!

You can probably imagine how many people have told us this is just getting us prepared for the life of a missionary. ;)

Maybe all of this moving around is beneficial to us in the sense that (other than family) we don’t really feel attached to anything here in KS or NE. There’s nothing holding us back.

We have no reason not to go all out for Jesus.

But even though I say these things and truly feel the desire to live my life for Jesus, I seem to spend an awful lot of my time worrying about what my future will bring while traveling the path that I know He wants me on.

It’s easy for me to preach about not having anxiety and about the realization that God has control of my life, but more often than I’d like to admit, I catch myself not truly applying the scriptures about this subject in my life. Because the truth is that I don’t want to hand over the reigns to him all of the time. Its almost as if I convince myself that I have better plans for my future than God!

And because I am often only stressing about the unknown, it is so easy for me to forget just how incredibly blessed I am! Today was one of those moments where God allowed me to step back and realize everything I have to be thankful for.

Today I was able to put my anxieties about becoming a missionary on the back burner and take some time to think about all of the reasons that I am just EXCITED to get to the field.

There are not enough words to express how THANKFUL I am for the loving support we have been receiving. Without it, we may have given up this whole missions-thing long ago! It is such a blessing to know that we have many people praying over us daily and that we have people in our lives who love and care about us in such a Christ-like manner. It’s amazing to have so many spiritual, God-loving people to love us unconditionally and guide us on this journey.

Here are a couple pieces of scripture that I find myself turning to quite often:

Philippians 4:4-7 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

(All of Mathew 6:25-34)

Matthew 6:34 Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

The Countdown to Kansas Begins!

Wow! In less than TWO weeks and we will be on our way back to good ole’ Kansas. I am so incredibly excited to see our family and friends when we return! (And also the cornfields!) It’s going to be a little bittersweet leaving QC, though. As much as I am looking forward to returning to a place of comfort where I know there will be no miscommunications while trying to order a meal, find directions, or look for something in a store – I sure will miss the beauty that is within the city of Quebec!

And while one of the things I look forward to the most is living on our own again, I will miss the loving family who took us in for the summer. I won’t pretend like it wasn’t a pretty enormous adjustment to move into a family with two kids after living by ourselves for two years (not to mention their adjustment to having a married couple living with them!), but it has really been a blessing to be a part of this Quebecois family.

I’d like to give a big thanks to our truly amazing friends: the Drahotas! While being in a different country, immersed in a different language, and surrounded by quite a few cultural differences, it has been nice to have them just a video-call away! Without our sometimes tri-weekly Skype dates with them, it is safe to say that we would be leaving a little less sane than we are. J

Seriously, though - we are really looking forward to moving to the Sabetha area! We have been blessed with so many incredible friendships at NorthRidge, and we look forward to meeting a lot of new ones. I can barely contain my excitement that we will be surrounded by the loving people of the church we came to know Christ in for over FOUR months! Not to mention that we will be living much closer to all of my family! I can’t wait.

We love you all. We are so truly blessed to have you all in our lives, and for those who we haven’t met already – we really look forward to it! 

Waiting for a Sign

The call to be a missionary: what does that really mean, anyway? Was I called? Isn’t everyone called? I have been thinking about this a lot lately and how I feel in the midst of pursuing missions in a foreign country.

I truly believe that God calls everyone to live their lives missionally (is that word?). Believers are called all throughout the Bible to GO and/or SEND.  Of course our God is fully capable of giving people clear-cut callings or signs telling them exactly when and where to go. I have actually met people who have had Him do this in their lives. But ultimately, isn’t it my choice of whether or not to follow Him?

When we became Christians, Ryan and I didn’t necessarily wait around for God to leave us a trail of signs pointing to missions or to put a billboard in front of our face with the word “HAITI” on it. It didn’t seem like there was the need for a specific, special call just for the two of us. I mean, how many places in the Bible do you see God’s commands to just go? If you ask Ryan why he chose to be a missionary, he will say, “Well.. I read the New Testament.” Simple as that.

How long would it take if we waited around for a vision from God saying to go and work for Him? If we did wait, I wouldn’t be surprised if we would miss it because we were too caught up in our lives to take notice. Missions have been on our hearts since we became Christians. Maybe we are taking a giant leap of faith but we know that no matter how far we jump, God will always be ahead of us. He’ll never fall behind.

If we truly live our lives with Him at the very center, I have no doubt that He will guide us. And if He doesn’t want us somewhere, He will let us know. If you look at the scriptures describing Paul’s life you see that he tried to take the gospel to Asia but was kept by the Holy Spirit (Acts 16). After those failed attempts, God finally gave him a vision of Macedonia. I believe that He may give us a sign, but it also doesn’t feel right to wait around for a sign instead of just simply trying to fulfill his commands.

If you have some free time, take a few minutes to watch this sermon by David Sitton. It’s kind of on the same topic, and overall I think it is awesome. You don’t need to watch the full 50 minutes, but it is great! Below is a highlight of the first eight minutes of the video.

Reckless Abandon: Jesus is Worth It!

By David Sitton

As we engage in the pioneer mission of getting His name known among all of the nations – as we do it, will we do it with reckless abandon or will we do it just through reasonable risks? Which is it going to be as we go to the nations: Reckless abandon, or reasonable risk?

What kind of missionary is it going to take to finish the mission? Get ready, new missionary, for Christ as you get ready to go! Not only are you going to be fighting against your own fears and your own insecurities – you’re also going to be fighting the opposition of family and friends who are going to be working against you. They’re going to be saying, “Don’t go into those dangerous places.” So are you going to press on and go, or are you going to shrink back in fear?

Danger questions are, for the most part, “American” questions. When we get to much of the rest of the world, they’re not asking the kinds of questions that we are asking. Most of the rest of the world already knows that being a Jesus follower is hazardous to their health. Persecution and martyrdom is frequent for most believers in third world countries…

Are we going to invest our lives in finishing the mission in those places where there is still strong hostility toward the gospel and against Jesus? Or are we just going to live our lives counting the reasonable risk costs and leaving most of the rest of the world unreached because its not prudent to go to those places?

The fact that the world, dangerous as it is, it will not be reached by worldly, wise people. It’s not going to be reached by people who want to save their lives. Its not going to be reached by people who want to pamper their lives. A huge part of the world – 1/3 of the population – is still living in darkness with no access to any meaningful gospel. This 1/3 of the world’s population - they will not be reached. Except by fools! That’s how they are going to be reached. By men and women who become fools for Christ, fools for nations, and fools for the tough places where the name of Christ has never gone! That is how the gospel is going to go forward powerfully.

So what kind of missionary is it going to take to finish the mission? There’s no chapter in the Bible for the “reasonable risk” guys. There’s no chapter for the “play it safe” boys. There’s no chapter for the experts at “risk avoidance.” Take a look at Hebrews 11. This is a chapter where God is calling people by name, speaking of their radical faith and reckless abandon. None of us would read these stories and say, “Yeah – lets live life that way!” But God commends them for their recklessness. By their faith, they pleased God, and for that He commends them.

(To hear the full sermon, go to: http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/conference-messages/reckless-abandon-jesus-is-worth-it)

And since it's been a while since I've added some photos of us here in Quebec, here are a few!

 This one is actually way back from the 4th of July!

 Last week we took our first ride across the river on the ferry boat! We met up with some friends to get some ice cream. :)

 Apparently it was a good thing we chose that day to take the boat, because later that evening one of the two ferry boats broke and so now there is only one running at the moment!

 Here are a few our friends from the university here we have been blessed to meet since we arrived. We went to the famous Chocolats Favoris for some ice cream :)

 Riding the boat back to QC! (With the Chateau Frotenac in the background, which is supposedly one of the most photographed hotels in the world. Just a little Quebec trivia. :)  

One last thing - is it difficult to read the white text on the blue background? I am having a difficult time figuring out what type of text is the easiest to read. Please let me know!

Read "The Story"

Read the STORY:

The Story 
(shared from NorthRidge Church)

Why me?

After explaining to someone that Ryan and I are going to be missionaries, very often we encounter people who say things like, “Wow! That is so AWESOME that you are moving to Haiti. You are going to have such an amazing adventure! I wish that I could do something like that.” But is it really awesome? To give up all of the people and things we love in our lives to move to a third world country? I’m not completely sure where “awesome” fits in to the reality of why we are leaving the U.S.

In fact, I often wonder why on earth we are going to Haiti… and by often, I mean probably at least every other day. Why would God choose to send us there? Aren’t there enough things that can be done for Him in our comfort zone without having to move to a different country?

(On a good day) by the time I make it to that second question, I already know the answer: God isn’t asking us to live in our comfort zone. He is asking us to boldly step out of it and give our lives to Him, for His glory.

And trust me, I sincerely wish I could be obedient and just say “Okay, God – whatever you want from me, I’ll do it!” But unfortunately that is not realistic for myself. Don’t get me wrong, there are so many reasons that I look forward to serving Christ in Haiti. In fact, most of the time (unless its one of those days..) I am so happy and nervous and excited at the fact that if we are funded by then, we will be on Haitian soil in less than 7 months. (Yikes!)

Honestly, we kind of have absolutely no idea how long we will be in Haiti. It could be a year, or it could be 10. We feel called to meet the long-term needs at Emmaus Biblical Seminary, so until we get a calling from God to go elsewhere, we imagine that is where we will be. 

So, as the stubborn, selfish person that I am, I cannot help but think about all of the things we will be missing out on while we are there. Not only can it bring me to tears thinking about leaving our loved ones, but I also selfishly get upset thinking about all of the other things I’ll be missing out on. You know… the worldly things. The American Dream. “A nice house in a nice town with a nice family.” The list goes on and on. I’m not exaggerating when I say that I could go on for hours about all of the things I feel like I am going to miss out on. But since you already get the idea, I won’t bore you with the details.

The point is that through the process of becoming missionaries this last year, I have come to realize just how disobedient I am when it comes to submitting to God’s will. In Matthew 16:24 Jesus told his disciples,

“If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.”

I think that we (myself included) often throw the phrase “take up His cross and follow Him” too lightly.

…Jesus then continues in 16:25-26,

“For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?”

In my heart, I know that I should only be storing up treasures for heaven rather than here on earth. I know that I should willingly give up my entire life for God’s calling upon myself. I know that Christ died on the cross and bought me with a price. He shed his own blood in order to buy my soul from an eternity in hell. For that beautiful gift of redemption, I should not hesitate to give up my worldly treasures, take up my cross, and follow Him. Whole-heartedly.

But as soon as I say that I understand these core concepts, five minutes later I find myself dreaming about what color of walls I would like to paint my future house instead of wondering what I can do to share the Gospel with those who have never heard it or have yet to accept it. And then I feel guilty and worthless.

And then I remember that no matter how sinful and wretched I might be, Jesus still loves me. He has still chosen to be my savior. And that has never failed to remind me “why on earth” we have chosen to follow Him and His word. 

Modesty

Through a Facebook post of a friend, I recently clicked on a blog that discussed one subject that many women (myself included) have a disliking toward: Modesty.

It’s a short article if you want to check it out yourself!

http://morelikemomma.com/2013/06/14/can-you-be-a-lady-without-being-modest/

Maybe it is because modesty is a topic that isn’t talked about much, but it really grabbed my attention. I think that in general, obtaining a lifestyle of modesty is difficult for the average woman for multiple reasons that usually revolve around beauty and the matter of self worth. However, no matter what difficulties we face, God wants us to be pure and holy, so that is what we should strive for – no matter how much we think we have to “give up” in order to achieve it.

The first encountered “difficulty” that comes to my mind is the world of fashion, because there are so many immodest trends surrounding us everywhere we go. (I put the word “difficulty” in quotations because when I step back and think of just how little and unimportant the things we must give up in comparison to people struggling with real difficulties in their walk with Christ, it is kind of pathetic.) Nevertheless, fashion is one of the things that I struggle with because I really enjoy cute clothes as much as the next girl! I worked in a second-hand clothing store throughout college where I often struggled not bringing home something new each time I worked. I would be lying if I didn’t mention that there were multiple times that I brought home some things that I thought were just fine and my husband had to tell me that they weren’t!

The article I read talks a lot about the concept of immodesty and its connection with allowing men to commit adultery in their hearts by looking at a woman lustfully. Even though I probably roll my eyes every time Ryan doesn’t approve of something I buy, I am sincerely thankful that he points it out before I wear it in public and give the wrong impression to someone, which I’m sure can happen so much more easily than I imagine. I think that many women honestly don’t realize that they are dressing inappropriately. Sometimes it really takes someone to say it out loud, which doesn’t happen very often because we are too afraid to offend someone. Therefore, if no one says anything, we continue to wear the same inappropriate things because we have never been told that we shouldn’t. And that probably results in getting unwanted attention, which then results in getting upset with the unwanted attention we are receiving, and the cycle continues…

As a married woman, I want obviously strive to live and dress modestly for my husband. But more importantly, shouldn’t I be striving to live a modest and pure life for Christ? Maybe instead of wondering what my husband would think if I wear this or that, I should ask myself how comfortable I would feel sitting face to face with Jesus. Although I don’t like to admit it, I’m sure that scenario would change my opinion on much of the clothing I own.

There is no doubt that because we are broken and sinful, we want to feel beautiful in the eyes of the world, rather than understand that God made us exactly how we are; perfect and beautiful in His eyes. When we find something that we think looks good on us, its easy to forget that we should be thinking of what message might be conveyed if we wear it. As a Christ-follower, I should ask myself each day if the person I might cross on the street would have any reason to think I wasn’t a Christian based on the clothing I chose to wear. If the answer is yes, it’s probably time to get rid of that!

Summertime is probably the best time to talk about modesty, because if you are a girl, you know how difficult it is to find unrevealing clothes that will keep you cool enough in the heat. (Not to mention the awful task of trying to find a swimsuit!) I went to the mall the other day to find some tank tops because the weather in Quebec City finally decided to heat up to the 80’s. (Yippee!) I am not exaggerating when I say that I had to walk through at least 5 stores before I found a tank top that was not transparent or extremely low cut! And now that I think about my purchases, I think that I still could have made a better choice than what I picked out.

Our cultural norms do not make it super easy on women to achieve a modest life. However, maybe we should go through the extra hoops anyway because if we look different from the world, hopefully Christ can shine through us. After all, we are representing Him anywhere and everywhere we go. Let’s glorify Him to the best of our abilities.