Where is Home?

Today was a real blessing! It has been a GORGEOUS day full of relaxation and time well spent with my husband.  We talked a lot about life and what our future may (or may not) have in store for us.

At one point I was speaking about how excited I am just to get back home from Canada. Without missing a beat, Ryan said, “Where is home?”

It took a few seconds for that question to sink in.

Where is home, really? My first thought of home is DuBois, NE – where I spent nearly every day of the first 18 years of my life. But now that I am married and have started a new life with Ryan, I don’t really know where “our” home together is. In the past two years, we have moved between apartments and houses 6 times already!

Ryan was kind of surprised today when he looked at just how much he will be moving around within the next 6 months. We are leaving Canada in about a week and will jump from house to house for about two weeks before we move into our own place for the semester. Then within a few weeks of being back home Ryan may be making a trip to Haiti, and a few weeks after that he will be going to Kentucky for his on-campus classes. Then in January we make a trip out to Indiana for cross training with OMS and then, God-willing, we will be on our way to Haiti! Its kind of nuts!

You can probably imagine how many people have told us this is just getting us prepared for the life of a missionary. ;)

Maybe all of this moving around is beneficial to us in the sense that (other than family) we don’t really feel attached to anything here in KS or NE. There’s nothing holding us back.

We have no reason not to go all out for Jesus.

But even though I say these things and truly feel the desire to live my life for Jesus, I seem to spend an awful lot of my time worrying about what my future will bring while traveling the path that I know He wants me on.

It’s easy for me to preach about not having anxiety and about the realization that God has control of my life, but more often than I’d like to admit, I catch myself not truly applying the scriptures about this subject in my life. Because the truth is that I don’t want to hand over the reigns to him all of the time. Its almost as if I convince myself that I have better plans for my future than God!

And because I am often only stressing about the unknown, it is so easy for me to forget just how incredibly blessed I am! Today was one of those moments where God allowed me to step back and realize everything I have to be thankful for.

Today I was able to put my anxieties about becoming a missionary on the back burner and take some time to think about all of the reasons that I am just EXCITED to get to the field.

There are not enough words to express how THANKFUL I am for the loving support we have been receiving. Without it, we may have given up this whole missions-thing long ago! It is such a blessing to know that we have many people praying over us daily and that we have people in our lives who love and care about us in such a Christ-like manner. It’s amazing to have so many spiritual, God-loving people to love us unconditionally and guide us on this journey.

Here are a couple pieces of scripture that I find myself turning to quite often:

Philippians 4:4-7 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

(All of Mathew 6:25-34)

Matthew 6:34 Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.